Jelly Beans
by Lise and Koneko
Summary: CH 4 is strange.Here's our fic.Pure humor.Watch the marry mahem as theTrigun world is messed up cause of 2 demented authors.PS:there's some Xovers with anime and stuff,but you'll understand it.Disclamer:we don't own Trigun,just the chars we make.
1. Crazy Crazy Day! That, and a whole lot ...

Jelly Beans  
  
Part 1: Crazy Crazy Day! That, and a whole lot of jelly beans.  
  
By Lise  
  
Disclaimer: The only person in here that's mine and Koneko's is Gorky. The rest, well, aren't. Pooh.  
  
******************************************************************  
  
It was a nice, pleasant day in Trigun world...wherever that may be. Vash was happily walking along, looking for some donuts. Actually, he was looking for a store that sold donuts, but that's not important. Anyways, as he was walking along, little did he know that 2 omnipotent beings called Authors were gleefully devising ways to mess up his happy little world.  
  
Millie saw Vash walking and hurried to catch up to him. Grinning, she poked him on the back, causing him to quickly swivel. "Hi Mr. Vash!" she said, then suddenly jumped 6 feet into the air. Now, Millie was a rather stable person who didn't normally jump for no reason. But, see, she had a reason. Maybe this will help you:  
  
INSTANT REPLAY::  
  
Millie said "Hi Mr. Vash!" Directly after greeting Vash, she heard a deeper voice from behind her comment "Hi Mr. Vash." Now, this would scare most people, so Millie was quite frightened. And she jumped.  
  
Upon finally landing on solid ground again, she found herself facing Vash. "Oh, sorry, Mr. Vash. I heard a voice from behind me and it scared me!" Millie turned around and blanched. "I'm an idiot! How did I not turn, cause here's Mr. Vash! But I thought I turned around!" Turning around again, she saw Vash. "WAAAAAAAAAA" she screamed, realizing that there were two Vashs! And they both looked exactly the same...wait, if they were both Vash, then they would look the same. Of course, Millie being Millie, it took her a while to realize that. While she was pondering this strange thing called a thought, the Vashs were pondering eachother.  
  
"Hi, brother!!!" said the Vash that wasn't Vash, causing Vash (the one that actually was Vash) to extrude a giant sweatdrop.  
  
"Um....do I know you?"  
  
"Oh yeah, I forgot. Well, I'm Gorky, and I am your brother in the minds of the strange messed up beings called Authors."  
  
"Authors? Wha-?" Vash was only even more confused. "So you're sort of my brother but not really? I don't get it."  
  
"You don't have to," said Gorky. "I don't either. Anyways, how about we find something to eat?"  
  
"Donuts? Okay," said Vash. And so the two newfound friends (at least, they were both stupid enough to instantly like eachother) walked off happily.  
  
******************************************************************  
  
San was plotting things that were most likely evil, when he was interrupted by a nameless minion. "Um, San sir? Vash the Stampede has been sighted recently, in the last 5 minutes."  
  
San grinned. "Good, because I could really use that $$60,000,000,000 bounty! I'll be hunting him myself." San had a surprising lack of money for someone with such high-tech weapons, computers, etc. Actually, he had a lot of debt, but what was the point of actually paying for stuff? Better to live life dangerously. Well, sort of dangerously, after all, what could annoyed and underpaid vendors do to him? If you couldn't tell, San had a rather large ego and fancied himself as the only person who could catch/kill Vash. It had to do with his strange past-wait, I'm not supposed to tell you about that yet. Anyways, San got up slowly and went to his case of weapons. Which one? Hm. Maybe that? No, no. Oh! That.. etc. He was very slow at making decisions.  
  
As he finished picking, Myuun was happily walking down the street. She hadn't the foggiest idea how she got to this particular street at this particular time in this particular world, but she frankly didn't care. Her silvery pigtails bounced and her silver eyes sparkled, carefree. Actually, Myuun was a ditz. Then, suddenly, she saw something rather cool. Oh, KAWAII!! she thought and rushed towards the young, darkhaired man she saw. Staring deeply into San's beautifully clear amber eyes, she felt calm like she - um...oops? Wrong story. Anyways;  
  
Surprising San a lot, she hugged him tightly. "Oh, Hi!" she said, grinning. "You're so kyuuuute!" And pulling the shocked San along, she headed towards the nearest small resturant.  
  
Little did all these strange people (and 2 actually were anime characters!) know that their lives would soon be intertwined by a strange thing called a Convient Demented Plot Device(TM), CDPD for short. To put this in English, that means that Lise is too bored to have them meet interestingly so they will all by some strange coincidence go to the same resturant.  
  
And since you all know now what happens, you can predict that they all happened to go to the same resturant. San caught a glimpse of spiky blonde hair and a red coat, and rushed towards Vash. Myuun cried cutely, "Wait, San-kun!" and rushed to follow him.  
  
San quickly pulled out the gun he had finally decided on, a compact, sleek ebony colored weapon. "Vash, stop! I have you in my sights!" Unfortunately, San being totally unaware of Gorky's existence, had picked the wrong person and Gorky didn't stop. In fact, he actually started jogging so he could catch up with Vash, who had deserted him a while ago. "Um, EXCUSE ME!" yelled San, feeling indignant at being totally completely ignored. Myuun at that time caught up to him.  
  
"Hey, San-kun? Why are you trying to kill this guy? He's not Vash the Stampede."  
  
"Of course he is! Look at that coat, that hair... He is so Vash!"  
  
"Is not!"  
  
"Is too!" And with those words, Myuun's and San's conversation rapidly degenerated into a shouting fight, Vash, Gorky, and bounties totally forgotten.  
  
******************************************************************  
  
Meanwhile, thanks to the CDPD(TM), Gorky had been sufficiently freaked out. Why did that guy think I'm Vash? I'm so obviously not Vash! Of course, what Gorky, being an idiot, didn't realize was that they were twins, and you would think they would look at least a bit similar. But then, Vash wasn't that smart. And Gorky was essentially a clone of him. (hehe, the Deranged Neurotic Authors(TM) strike again!) Gorky shook his head and pulled out a bag of jellybeans from one of the many pockets in his long red coat. "Have I tried this flavor? No. Yay!" he muttered to himself. Gorky's one addiction was jellybeans.  
  
Finally, after aimlessly walking for a while, he found Vash buying some donuts. "Hey Vash!" he said, walking up to his twin. "Find donuts?"  
  
"Um-hm. Mpngh scmrpf sgome!" [translation: Some good ones!] mumbled Vash, whose mouth was stuffed full of donuts. He had just blew a whole lot of money (how does he get money anyways?) on donuts. At this moment, San, who had finally gotten Myuun to shut up, saw them conversing on the side of the road.  
  
"Ha!" He grinned predatorily. "Finally!" Rushing towards them, he pulled out his gun for the second time. Myuun looked at him.  
  
"San-kun! What are you doing! Wahhh!" she wailed, a pacifist through and through. Myuun didn't like San's gun, and objected to anyone so cute carrying a gun.  
  
"Vash the Stampede!" San yelled, and sent a shot heading towards Gorky. Instantly, the street was cleared except for Vash, Gorky, Myuun, and San. Of course, Gorky sharing Vash's bullet dodging ability, he was able to easily avoid the bullet. Slightly surprised that he was shot at, he swallowed his Kiwi-flavored jellybean quickly and started choking.  
  
"ACK! COUGH! BLAH!" Vash freaked out at seeing his new friend choking and started pounding him on the back. San and Myuun promptly extruded very large sweatdrops at this strange sight.  
  
"Um. San-kun? You shot at the wrong person," Myuun helpfully commented.  
  
"How do you know? There's two Vashs! Look! It's scary!" yelled San.  
  
"San-kun, trust me!" Myuun's cute, smiling face looked up at San. "That one," she said pointing to Gorky, "is called Gorky. The other one is Vash."  
  
"Then how the heck do you tell them apart?" San was very very frustrated. "They have the exact same face, hair, coat, and who knows what else?"  
  
Myuun grinned. "I know something that they don't have in common!" [No, I did not mean it like that!] "Just wait till they take out a gun!" She smiled, obviously not realizing that she was being sort of dumb by not helping San. But that was Myuun; a total ditz.  
  
Meanwhile, Gorky had successfully swallowed the Kiwi-flavored jellybean. Now he was ready to start one that was an interesting shade of green, but he suddenly remembered the shot. "Hey, Vash? Do you have any idea why that guy over there suddenly shot at me?"  
  
Vash thought for a bit then lit up. "Oh yeah! Some people have been going around shooting at me recently too. Something about a bounty or something..I don't know." Now it may seem to you that Vash is incredibly stupid. But if you consider that the current author has seen a lot less Trigun then she would like to and isn't really the best on remembering exactly what the characters are like, then it makes perfect sense.  
  
"Oh. I see," Gorky said while nodding. That made sense to him. Those bad people, bounty hunters! They didn't realize that the world was made of PEACE AND LOVE!!! Everybody was staring at him strangely, he realized he had just yelled out "Peace and love!" really loudly and did the accompanying twisted victory sign.  
  
"Is that how Vash is?" asked San, and Myuun replied, "Yep!" Myuun smiled up at San. She was so lucky she found this really kyuuuute guy! Oh happiness! Meanwhile, San was wondering just which gods hated him today.  
  
"Excuse me, I hate to interrupt this happy party," said San, "but I'm here to try to kill or capture Vash the Stampede! Which of you are he?"  
  
From behind him, Myuun whispered, "The one on the left!" But as he turned around to glare at her, she whispered, "Oh look, they're switching! Ack, I can't keep up with them! They're moving fast!" Poor Myuun sat down with a bump.  
  
San turned around. "Okay, no funny jokes-" a flying jellybean hit him in the nose, and he snorted. "I want you to know that I am a successful-" Ok, well, sort of but not really "-bounty hunter and that even you can't stop me!"  
  
"Can jellybeans stop you?" Gorky's innocent question made him laugh and San freak out.  
  
"ARGH!!!!" San was really annoyed now, and Myuun's laughter wasn't helping him in the least bit. A small black cat with really big eyes chose that moment to use his head as a stepping stone, jumping on him. That just made San's day, as you can imagine, and he just ran.  
  
Myuun cried, "San-kun! Come back!" and followed him, her heels making it hard to run. Vash and Gorky simply stared after them.  
  
"Okay...that was rather interesting," commented Vash.  
  
"Yes. Why do they want to kill you?  
  
"Well, it's something about me being a hazard, and it has something to do with insurance."  
  
"Insurance?"  
  
"Well, things have a tendency to ..uh..sort of..."  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Get blown up around me."  
  
"Oh."  
  
"So these 2 people have to stay around me all the time. One is Millie, who you met."  
  
"Who? The girl who freaked out?"  
  
"Yeah. The other is Meryl, you haven't met her yet."  
  
"Oh. Okay."  
  
"Anyways, do you want one of my donuts?"  
  
"Sure! You can have some jellybeans. They're really good."  
  
"Okay!"  
  
******************************************************************  
  
He's such an idiot. And so is this other person. thought the girl, watching Vash and Gorky from a window high above them. She had her hair in two long braids looped around her head, but the color was indistinguishable because it was so dark in the room she was in. San, well, San has difficulties. And Myuun is just a normal ditz. No worries on that end, but who knows about these people? She started pacing nervously in her small room. She had paced this room many times before, and she knew it was 5 steps in one direction and 8 in the other. It was so small and dirty that she almost couldn't stand it. But she would survive; she had done this many times before.  
  
******************************************************************  
  
"San-kun, why did you run away like that?" queried Myuun.  
  
"ARGH!" Poor San was still mildly insane after the encounter with Gorky.  
  
"Gorky's fairly normal."  
  
"ACK!"  
  
"At least, as normal as someone who's essentially a clone of Vash can be."  
  
"BLAH!"  
  
"He does like jellybeans a bit much, but then he doesn't like donuts."  
  
"GACK!"  
  
"Kiwi jellybeans are good."  
  
"WARGH!"  
  
"But then, I think my favorite would have to be the buttered popcorn."  
  
"ACK!"  
  
"No, no. Maybe the black kind?"  
  
"UGH!"  
  
"Nah, those aren't so good."  
  
"ICK!"  
  
"Or how about pina colada? I like those."  
  
"YUCK!"  
  
"Well, I think I'd have to say that pina colada are my favorite kind."  
  
"BLAR!"  
  
"How about you, San-kun?"  
  
"..."  
  
"San-kun?"  
  
"..."  
  
"San-kun?!?!?!?"  
  
"......"  
  
"SAN-KUN???"  
  
"......"  
  
"Are you hurt? What's wrong, San-kun?"  
  
"......"  
  
"What's the problem?"  
  
"Myuun, the problem is you."  
  
"He talked! Yay! Oh happiness!"  
  
"..."  
  
"What was the problem again?"  
  
"Myuun...the problem is you. How many times do I have to say, Go Away!"  
  
"But...but...I like you!"  
  
"Okaaaaay..."  
  
"You're kyuuuuute!"  
  
"..." At this, San decided he couldn't take any more "San-kuns" and "Kyuuute"s. Getting up swiftly, he pulled Myuun to her feet as she was rather attached to him. "Ack." he stated simply and started sprinting in a way to make Marion Jones proud.  
  
"WAIIIIT!!! SAN-KUN!" cried Myuun, following him into the sunset.  
  
******************************************************************  
  
Next time on Jelly Beans:  
  
"Oh super super wai wai coolness!!!"  
  
"ARGH!!!"  
  
******************************************************************  
  
Authors Notes:  
  
Well, that was fun...o.O I like dialogues. 


	2. Crazy Crazy Meryl! That and something c...

Jelly Beans  
  
Part 2: Crazy Crazy Meryl! That and something completely different.  
  
By Koneko  
  
Note: I'm new at this so I'm not too sure how it will turn out.  
  
********************************************************  
  
It is a nice peaceful day in the world of Trigun, but isn't it always. Oh well. Anyway, the two new found friends, Vash and Gorky, were walking along as usual, eating jellybeans and donuts. Little did they know that one of the Authors had a demented idea, and was about to mess up their little world once again. Anyway, walking in the opposite direction were the two insurance girls, as Vash puts it. They were just walking along peacefully, but anyone who knows anything about the Authors should realize that peace never lasts long.  
  
"Isn't it a beautiful day Meryl?" asked Millie in her ditzy little voice.  
  
"Yeah, I guess it is," she said as she looked up into the sky. Everything is perfect, especially since I haven't seen Vash today. Could life be anymore perfect? In a way, I feel sorry that I'm going to mess her up...............Nah! Just then, who should happen to come along but two idiotic brothers.  
  
"Oh look, it's the insurance ladies. Hi," he said. "See Gorky, those are the insurance ladies I told you about,"  
  
"Oh, hi insurance ladies,"  
  
"Oh, hi mister Vash!" said Millie. Then she looked at Gorky. "Hi other mister Vash!"  
  
"What do you mean other mister Vash? There is only one Vash," said Meryl. She was still looking up at the sky, so she didn't notice the clone of Vash known as Gorky standing next to him.  
  
"But Meryl, I see two mister Vashes. They are both standing right there."  
  
"Millie, there is only one Vash, (thank the gods) and he is standing right over the.... re?" Meryl, finally looking somewhere other than the sky saw Gorky.  
  
"What's going on?! There are two Vashes!! What the heck is going on!"  
  
By this time, Meryl was going completely insane. Gorky just stared at her in his dazed and confused little way.  
  
"Don't be sad insurance lady. Remember: The world is full of PEACE AND LOVE!!!!!"  
  
"Actually Gorky, the world is filled with LOVE AND PEACE!!!!!" Vash even did the finger sign. So did Gorky, but he used the other hand to do it.  
  
"PEACE AND LOVE!"  
  
"LOVE AND PEACE!"  
  
"PEACE AND LOVE!"  
  
"LOVE AND PEACE!"  
  
Their pathetic argument just made Meryl even more insane.  
  
"I can't take it anymore! Let me off, let me off!"  
  
"Let you off of what, Meryl?"  
  
"LET ME OFF A THIS PLANET, I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!"  
  
She ran around in circles for about an hour, while Millie watched and Vash and Gorky had their pathetic argument. It just so happened that the white coat people from the insane asylum were going on their daily patrol, looking for people on the brink of insanity. They just so happened to find the four of them just standing around and Meryl banging her head on the wall, while mumbling "ouchy, ouchy, ouchy,"  
  
"This looks like case 11,111. Over loading of one person who is annoying disease, or as I like to call it, the OLOFPWIAD." Said man #1.  
  
"That is very long for an abbreviation," said man #2.  
  
"Let's just take her in"  
  
You should always be cautious around people who are about to go completely insane, but that wouldn't be any fun to make them do that, so instead they ran over, grabbed her, and ran over to the vehicle. You should be gentle to insane people, so that they don't freak out, but what's the fun in that? I personally like to cause as much damage as I possibly can. So instead, they threw her head first into the back of their white insanity vehicle, and drove off. Once again, Millie seemed completely anonymous to what was going on. Vash and Gorky were still having the same conversation/argument on the topic of love and peace and peace and love. Millie didn't understand what just happened, so she went over and tapped Vash on the shoulder.  
  
"Mister Vash, some strange people came and took Meryl away. They were wearing white coats and they were funny looking, and they talked about things I couldn't understand."  
  
"Oh. Don't worry. In the name of love and peace, I will find her and return her safely!" he said in his heroic voice. "Come on Gorky, you are coming too. I'll give you jelly beans if you do."  
  
"WAAAAHHHIIIII!!!!!!" yelled Gorky.  
  
Little did they know that things were about to get wacky, even more than things already were, and that's wacky. Well, anyway, the people in white coats took Meryl to the insane asylum and put her in a white strait coat, just to make sure she wouldn't hurt herself. Then they put her in a room with one window, a bed, and of course there was a door that led in and out of the room. If there weren't a door, she wouldn't be able to get in the room. They could always have shoved her through the window, but then everyone who went to see her would have to go through the window and that would be to difficult to do so I made a door, understand? Good, then I'll continue now.  
  
********************************************************  
  
Meryl sat all alone in her little room on the floor cross-legged. She slowly rocked back and forth as she sat there. She was quietly singing to herself "We All Live In A Yellow Submarine". She has totally lost it as you can see. As she sat there on the floor, two shadowy figures walked up the stairs towards the room where Meryl was. I forgot to mention that the door doesn't have a door bell because if there was one then it might annoy whoever was the one inside, and don't ask me what my obsession with the door is, because I really have no clue at all to why I like the door, I just do because......maybe I should shut up now. Anyway, they approached the door and just stood there. In the room, Meryl just did the same thing. Then, she was startled by a strange voice.  
  
"Ding Dong" said the voice.  
  
"Who's there?" asked Meryl.  
  
Then the coooool door opened to reveal............two super cool people. They stood in the doorway and stared into the room.  
  
"Oh super super wai wai coolness!!!" said the other person.  
  
"Ahhhhhhh!! Who are you people!"  
  
"Well, I'm Koneko, and this is Lise,"  
  
"We are the ones who are writing this,"  
  
"Yah, we did this to you, or more like I did this to you, heehaw (the computer made me say that, not me. Stupid computer), but we both came up with the idea. Oh, I meant to saw heehee, but the computer hates me."  
  
"You two are scary, can't you just go away, like a bad dream or something?" Asked Meryl.  
  
"Well, we are real, so we can't just disappear. Besides, we like being here, it's fun!!" said Koneko.  
  
"And we aren't leaving," said Lise.  
  
They stayed there all day and it became night fast, and strange things were happening outside.  
  
"How are we going to get her out, mister Vash?" asked Millie.  
  
"We will climb through the window, grab Meryl, then we will leave. Can you remember that?"  
  
"Yes I can mister Vash,"  
  
"That's good, what about you Gorky,"  
  
"Um, can you repeat everything after `we'?"  
  
"You are very weird, and no, I don't feel like repeating myself. Come on, let's go."  
  
Vash threw a rope up at the window but then realized that the window was closed. Just then, Gorky found a ladder, and brought it over. I used the ladder on account that nothing else would have probably worked, and I hate thinking for a very long time about one thing.  
  
"Here Vash, you can use this." Gorky gave Vash the ladder.  
  
"Good boy Gorky, here have a jellybean."  
  
"Yah yah, jellybean, yum."  
  
"Here, go get it." Vash threw the jellybean very far, and, like a dog, Gorky chased after it. Vash put the ladder up and started climbing, but he forgot one thing: the ladder needs to be up against the building in order to use a ladder, so Vash came plummeting down and smacked against the ground, and of course, it hurt. This time he made sure to lean it up against the building and he climbed up the ladder.  
  
"I thought I heard something outside it sounded like someone falling off of a ladder," said Koneko.  
  
"You are the one writing this, so you should know who it is," said Lise.  
  
"Yeah, I guess you're right, but it's no fun to know everything before it happens, so I like to pretend that I don't know anything."  
  
"You are right, you don't know anything," said an anonymous little voice in Koneko's head. It is there to insult her when she says something like that. Someone needs to catch her on things like those.  
  
"You two are scary, please just leave me alone, go away." Said Meryl.  
  
"But we like you, or at least we like doing this to you."  
  
Just then, who should bust through the window, in a super cool pose like something you would see in a mission impossible movie, but Vash himself.  
  
"Be gone evil doers or I shall punish you with my burning fist of justice." He said. There was a long pause.........................  
  
"You actually made him say that? Aren't you sort of mixing anime here?" asked Lise.  
  
"Well, it seemed cool at the moment. If you don't like it, I can make him say something else."  
  
"No, never mind."  
  
"Um, did I miss something here? Who are you guys, and what are you doing here?" asked Vash.  
  
"We are the super cool, and super smart people, also known as Authors."  
  
"What is an Author?" asked Vash.  
  
"Should I tell him, Lise?"  
  
"No lets leave him in suspense for a while."  
  
"O.K."  
  
As they all stood around and talked about Authors, Gorky was off chasing the jellybean. After a while, he finally found it, but when he looked up, a tall and shadowy figure stood in front of him.  
  
"Hello there. What are you doing?"  
  
"I'm chasing the jellybean. Who are you?"  
  
"I'm a scary evil person who people are afraid of and run away from, as they scream AAAHHHHHAAHHHHHH!!!!"  
  
"Oh...................AAAAAAAHHHHHAAHHHHH!!!!" Yelled Gorky as he ran off. He was running back to where Millie was standing.  
  
"Help help, something scary is chasing me!!" he yelled. "Where is Vash?!"  
  
"He's in there Mister Gorky." At that, Gorky ran up the ladder. He went through the window and grabbed Vash.  
  
"Help Vash, help! A scary person is chasing me!"  
  
"I don't see anyone chasing you," said Vash. Just then, the evil, scary person fell through the roof, right on top of Meryl. Just to add more to her insanity, the black cat with big eyes fell on her at the same time that the evil person did.  
  
"*Death to us all, we will perish in the flames*" sang Lise and Koneko.  
  
"I am here to hurt you and cause you all terrible pain," said the evil person.  
  
"Um, Koneko, who is that?" asked Lise.  
  
"That's the evil scary person I made. Isn't she cool?"  
  
"I will now hurt you all with my pointy stick." Said the villain as she started poking Vash and Gorky with her stick.  
  
"Ouchy ouch, that hurts make it stop!" said Vash in his whiney voice.  
  
"Should we help them?" asked Koneko.  
  
"Yeah, I guess. Besides, this villain is really annoying and sort of lame."  
  
Lise pulled up her computer from nowhere, pushed some buttons, and the evil person disappeared.  
  
"Yah! You did it!" cheered Koneko. "And just in time for this part to end."  
  
Next time on Jelly Beans:  
  
"I can't take it anymore"  
  
"Hola, senor Vash" 


	3. Yummy Yummy Jellybeans! That, and some ...

Jelly Beans  
  
Part 3: Yummy Yummy Jellybeans! That, and some martial arts.  
  
By Lise  
  
Disclaimer: Ok, we're weird. We don't own any of this, except the stuff we did make up. o.O  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ---  
  
The day dawned bright in Trigun world. And yes I know that each episode starts with a new day, but how else should we start them? It's easier this way.  
  
Anyways, Lise and Koneko woke up from their dreams of how to make the characters' lives miserable. Pulling out her computer, Lise said, "So, what to do today?" They both sniggered evilly and walked off to find Vash.  
  
They found Vash and Gorky looking for food, with Millie following behind. "Hi Vash, Gorky, Millie!" said Koneko, winking at Lise who pulled out a bag of jellybeans. "Gorky, look!"  
  
Gorky looked at the beans and started drooling. "Yum!" he said.  
  
"Haha! Gorky, catch!" Lise said and threw a jellybean as far as she could. Gorky, being a jellybean addict, promptly ran after it. "Hehehe." Vash and Millie just sort of stared as Gorky returned with the jellybean in his mouth.  
  
"Here, Gorky!" yelled Koneko, throwing another one. "Look, it's kiwi! Your favorite!"  
  
While Lise and Koneko continued to torment Gorky, little did they know that San was being stupid like normal. He was running away from Myuun, while hopelessly trying to find Gorky. Myuun called, "San-kun! San- kun, watch out!" as he nearly ran into a red headed girl with a ponytail who had suddenly appeared.  
  
Just then, Lise and Koneko appeared. "San! I see you've found the Intersection of Death™!" said Koneko.  
  
San was too dazed to care, but Myuun was surprised. "What!" she cried. "San-kun!"  
  
"Yep, this is the Intersection of Death™. It's where stories and universes intersect, and it's very dangerous. See, you nearly ran into Ran- chan!" said Lise, pointedly looking at the red-head.  
  
"Oy," said San-kun as the red-head, who they now knew to be Ran- chan(you know Ranma's girl form? Ran-chan?) kicked him in the stomach. "Oy," he moaned as he slowly pulled out a gun.  
  
"WAAAA!!!!" yelled Myuun, Lise, and Koneko. What happened next has been edited to keep this story at a G rating, but let it suffice to say that San-kun was very very mean to poor Ran-chan.  
  
"San-kun!" cried Myuun. "How could you do that?" She started sobbing a la Usagi.  
  
"GRRRR…" Lise and Koneko weren't too happy, but then San-kun woke up.  
  
"Huh? What'd I do?" He looked in fright at the mass of genki, kawaii, schoolgirls who had just appeared, Myuun in the lead.  
  
"SAN-KUN!" they yelled, chasing him. He ran like he had never ran before, to escape the pain.  
  
"Well, that'll teach him!" said Koneko. "Why don't we join them?"  
  
"Super super wai wai COOLNESS!" cried Lise and joined the chase. They ran off after San, giggling as they went. Their clothes changed into Japanese schoolgirl fuku as they ran to make them blend in with all the others.  
  
"SAN-KUN!!!! You're so KYUUUUUTE!!!!"  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ---  
  
Millie, who is being rather neglected at this time, was standing around, doing nothing in particular when she saw a cloud in the distance. Wondering what it was, she watched it as it closed on her. Once it was closer, it turned out to be San, being chased by a lot of schoolgirls. Millie only had time to wonder what the heck was happening when she was trampled. "owwwww…" she moaned in excruciating pain.  
  
San and his pursuers raced on.  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ---  
  
Now, let's go back to the Intersection of Death™. When Ran-chan had crossed over from the Ranma 1/2 universe, she (he? she? he? okay, it) was being chased by Kuno. Ran-chan had enough of a head start that Kuno lost track of it, but was closing in now that Ran-chan could no longer run or move.  
  
When Kuno found Ran-chan lying in the dust, making small noises of pain, he gasped. "Oh no! The pig-tailed goddess!! Who could have done this! I will have revenge!!" and followed the tracks of the large mass of schoolgirls.  
  
Waving a katana around (how did he get that?), he foamed at the mouth and rushed madly on.  
  
Millie only had time to start to sit up till she was trampled by Kuno, who wasn't thin. "aaaaaaaa…" A small moan was heard, and Kuno dismissed it as something that wasn't important.  
  
Kuno raced on.  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ---  
  
Meanwhile, Ran-chan got up finally (Remember, Ranma is a martial artist and has stamina, stamina, and ..um..stamina) and tottered off in the opposite direction from where everyone else had gone. "Hot water…must have hot water…"  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ---  
  
Eventually, Lise and Koneko tired of making San's life bad, and sat down. "Hey, San-kun must be getting tired, and if he gets caught, well.."  
  
Koneko finished what Lise had started. "No more chasing him. So we should stop this." Lise pulled out the computer and pressed a couple of keys. Abruptly, the crowd of schoolgirls disappeared with small pop noises and little pink bubbles floated away. Lise and Koneko stared. "I didn't know that would happen," commented Koneko.  
  
"Kinda weird, ne? Oh well." The two Authors got up and walked away. After aimlessly rambling for a while, they found Vash and Gorky eating donuts and jellybeans, respectively.  
  
"Hi!" Vash seemed cheerful, but then, when isn't he? Any further conversation was interrupted by the sight of Ran-chan stumbling. It (he? she?) collapsed in front of Gorky, making some noises that, with a bit of creativity, could be interpreted as "hot…water…hot…"  
  
"Whoa! Look, it's Ran-chan! We'd better find some hot water," said Lise, excited.  
  
"Um..okay, I don't get it," said Koneko.  
  
"Koneko! Ran-chan will change back to Ranma with hot water! C'mon!!!!" Lise rushed off, dragging Ran-chan behind her.  
  
Vash, Gorky, and Koneko followed. After all, Lise being an Author, there had to be some merit in her suggestion. Or maybe she just has a big ego and thinks she's cool…or nah.  
  
Anyways, after finding a kettle in Vash's room, Lise told Gorky to fill it up and heat it in the microwave. Gorky followed her instructions while thinking about jellybeans.  
  
After the water was hot enough, Lise poured it over Ran-chan. Suddenly, instead of a red-head, there lay a black haired guy who promptly jumped up. "Wha? Who? Hey!!! Kuno!!!"  
  
"Um..I haven't the foggiest where Kuno is, but he's not here," said Koneko, inching backwards slowly.  
  
Ranma refused to settle down. "KUNO!!!" He started to run outside, but Lise stopped him by making handcuffs appear. "HEY!"  
  
"Hahaha." Lise and Koneko started to giggle as Vash and Gorky just stood there, watching calmly. "Well, you can't go anywhere."  
  
"Um…Koneko, I'm getting kind of hungry. How about we go to find some food?"  
  
"Sure!!! Vash and Gorky, you just stay here." With that, Lise and Koneko left.  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ---  
  
Vash and Gorky just stared at this guy who had been a girl not too long ago. Ranma started to struggle after the initial shock of being tied up went away. "Who are those crazy people?" he asked.  
  
"The Authors." Gorky nodded sagely.  
  
"Yep."  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"Well, you ask a silly question, and you get a silly answer."  
  
"Yep."  
  
"Riiiight… So where am I?"  
  
"Here."  
  
"Yep."  
  
"Well, where's here?"  
  
"Um…dunno."  
  
"Yep."  
  
"You, the one on the left, can't you say anything other than 'yep'?"  
  
"He's Vash."  
  
"Yep."  
  
"ARGH!!!"  
  
"mmf. smamf." Gorky popped a jellybean into his mouth.  
  
"Yep."  
  
"Alright. What are your names?"  
  
"I'm Gorky, he's Vash."  
  
"Yep."  
  
"Ok. What do you do here?"  
  
"What do you mean? I don't understand."  
  
"Yep."  
  
"What are your jobs? Or do you go to school?"  
  
"We don't really have any job in particular."  
  
"Yep."  
  
"You're twins, right?"  
  
"Duh."  
  
"Yep."  
  
"So, what's with the coats?"  
  
"We like trenchcoats."  
  
"Yep."  
  
"Okay. Are there martial arts or dojo in your world?"  
  
"I don't know. Do you, Vash?"  
  
"Yep."  
  
"So are there or not?"  
  
"I don't think there are any."  
  
"Yep."  
  
"Oh. I'm a martial artist."  
  
"That's cool."  
  
"Yep."  
  
"How old are you?"  
  
"Dunno."  
  
"Yep."  
  
"Okaaayyy… Are you married to those 2 girls?"  
  
"No! Of course not! Neither of us are married."  
  
"Yep."  
  
"Did Vash here mean yep to be that neither of you are married or that you are?"  
  
"He meant we aren't."  
  
"Yep."  
  
"Oh. I see. What's your favorite food?"  
  
"Jellybeans, and he likes donuts."  
  
"Yep."  
  
"I like ramen…uh oh…everytime I say ramen Shampoo appears…"  
  
"Hair care products. Nice."  
  
"Yep."  
  
"No, she's a Chinese cook."  
  
"Oh. I've never had ramen."  
  
"Yep."  
  
"So what do you eat here then?"  
  
"Jellybeans and donuts."  
  
"Yep."  
  
"Oh. Is that it? That's odd…"  
  
"No, of course not. We eat other things."  
  
"Yep."  
  
"Like what?"  
  
"Um…McDonalds!"  
  
"Yep."  
  
"Oh, they have those in Japan!"  
  
"There's one right here."  
  
"Yep."  
  
"I can't take it anymore!!!"  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ---  
  
We now leave this "fascinating" conversation of sorts to show you Lise and Koneko. They had found the McDonalds. "Yum. Can we have 2 Happy Meals?"  
  
"No se," said the person at the counter.  
  
"Oh. Nos gustan .. um..dos Happy Meals?"  
  
"Si." They got their happy meals and walked back to where Vash, Gorky, and Ranma were.  
  
"Hola senor Vash!" said Koneko, and Vash just stared.  
  
"Um, Koneko? We've got to talk in English," whispered Lise.  
  
"Oh, sorry!!!" apologized Koneko. Just then, Lise pulled out a watch, and found that a black cat was trying to grab it.  
  
"Psst: Koneko?"  
  
*Death to us all, we will perish in the flames* sang the Authors, grinning happily at the puzzled looks.  
  
"Oh, we've got to end this episode!"  
  
"Okay. Luv ya. Bye bye." And the episode ended.  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ---  
  
Next time on Jelly Beans:  
  
"Mahjong is a game for happy people who are happy while playing it and think about happy things that make them happy."  
  
"Oh I'm RICH!! I'm RICH!!! I'm RICH!!!! I'm RICH!!!!!" 


	4. Bad Bad Gorky. That, and a lot of Cowbo...

Jelly Beans  
  
Part 4: Bad Bad Gorky. That, and a lot of Cowboy Bebop references.  
  
By Koneko  
  
Note: This is a little strange, but I hope it's good. Oh, and when I use these things it means a private conversation with the demonic authors of this fan fic. (  
  
  
  
Once again, we are in the happy little world of Trigun. It is a typical day in the Trigun world, isn't it? Wait, why am I asking myself this? Wait, why did I ask myself the question that came after the one I asked myself before? AHHHHHH! I better get a grip. Ok. Well, as we left them off, Koneko and Lise had recently came back from McDonalds. Ranma was being interrogated by Vash and Gorky, or was he interrogating them? Anyway, that's not important. Ok, enough stalling, lets get this fanfic going.  
  
Gorky decided he was sick of McDonalds and went to go find some more jellybeans, on account that he didn't have anymore. He walked around aimlessly, looking for a candy store. When he finally found one, he bought some jellybeans (well of course he did, what else would he do). Then, by some strange turns of events, (actually, I don't feel like writing what he actually did, so I improvised) he came across a Gambling place.  
  
Meanwhile, Kuno was still running around with his katana, looking for Ran-chan, who was now Ranma.  
  
Elsewhere; Koneko, Lise, and Vash were still eating the McDonalds happy meals. Ranma was still sitting in the chair, tied up.  
  
"Hey, can I have some food?"  
  
"Nope," said Vash  
  
"I wasn't asking you. I was asking those two over there,"  
  
"Hmmm…you want some food?" asked Koneko, with her mouth stuffed.  
  
"Well duh, that's why I asked,"  
  
"You can't talk to us like that, can he?"  
  
"Nope, that was very rude of you, so you don't get any food at all." Lise put a very big piece of chicken in her mouth.  
  
"Mmm, no fair" said Ranma. He thought for a while and then came up with an Idea. Idea- a thing you ponder in your head that can sometimes work and sometimes doesn't.  
  
"Can I please have something to eat? I'm sure that two beautiful young girls like your selves can spare some food for me?"  
  
"You should know that flattery will get you no where," said Koneko.  
  
"Please just give me some fooood,"  
  
"He wines just like you Vash," Lise said turning to Vash who was totally unaware of the comment. All of a sudden, Gorky ran in.  
  
"Oh I'm RICH!! I'm RICH!!! I'm RICH!!!! I'm RICH!!!!!" He was running in circles around everyone. Then (just to make things interesting) for some reason, he decided to close his eyes as he continued to run. And of course, he tripped over Ranma, who was still in the chair, and they both fell over. In this odd turn of events, Ranma became free. As the idiot Gorky laid there, completely dazed, Ranma got up.  
  
"Haha, I'm finally free of your evil wrath!"  
  
"What evil wrath are you talking about?" asked Koneko.  
  
"Can I… get some… help… here?" Gorky moaned painfully.  
  
"Can't you see we're discussing something here?" said Lise.  
  
"You know, I think he could be hurt…" said Vash.  
  
"So what, it's his fault that he tripped over me. He's a total idiot."  
  
"Look mister Ranma (A.K.A Millie's favorite title for Vash. Only the mister part though), he may be an idiot, but he's our idiot." Turns to Lise. "I think we should send him home soon."  
  
"Yeah I guess."  
  
"You sound disappointed."  
  
"I was sort of hoping we could keep him. But lets send him back now. We need to get this fan fic. going." She pulled out her computer. "Well, see ya later Ranma…huh?"  
  
"What's wrong Lise?"  
  
"Where'd Ranma go?"  
  
"Ooopsss."  
  
"Hey you guys, Gorky's alright," said Vash. Koneko and Lise just stood there looking around the room. "I get the feeling that you don't care."  
  
"Well, let's just forget about it." Gorky was now able to stand at least.  
  
"Heehee, I'm rich!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Hey Koneko, don't you think that's a little overboard with the exclamations? Looks fine to me  
  
They stared at Gorky.  
  
"If you're rich, then where's you're money?"  
  
"Oh……………"(as you can see, he is pondering)"……….I left it at the casino."  
  
"Oh brother, and what did we tell you about gambling?" said Lise.  
  
"That gambling is very evil."  
  
"That's right, and now you're broke, and don't expect us to give you any money, because that would be very cheep and unfair to all the other people, even though we probably could generate as much money as we possibly wanted and…" Koneko was cut off.  
  
"Umm, we gotta go do something…um…Se ya!" Lise grabbed Koneko by the arm and pulled her out the door. There was a pause of silence. (There are many reasons why there was a pause of silence. One: because Vash and Gorky didn't understand why they ran off. Two: because Lise and Koneko were gone, and they usually start all of the halfway intelligent conversations. And three: both of them are just plain idiots). Well, any way, they decided to do the best they could to follow them.  
  
Oddly enough, they sort of stumbled over to the casino. Basically, I don't feel like making this a long description, so they just sort of found it.  
  
"Is this the right casino Gorky?"  
  
"Yep."  
  
"You know, we've been to practically 20 casinos, and every time we find one I ask you 'Is this the right casino Gorky' and every time you say 'yep'."  
  
"What's your point?"  
  
"Nothing, I just didn't know we had so many casinos, that's all."  
  
As you can see, they are both idiots, but I suppose that is no surprise. Idiots attract idiots. Hey, that should be my new saying…………nah, I like ding dong better. Maybe because you are one, said the little voice in my head. You know, I really hate that voice. Well, anyway, let's get on with the story.  
  
Inside the casino were many games that you would normally find in a casino. Of course that's logical. There were many people there, including Koneko and Lise. They seemed to be enjoying themselves.  
  
"I really like this place," said Koneko.  
  
"Yeah, I'm glad Vash and Gorky aren't here. They would probably screw something up. Hey dealer. Hit me again." They were playing black jack, one of my favorite games. And the dealer was none other than…Faye Valentine! You can probably imagine what she was wearing, so I won't go into details. Lise had a queen and an ace. When Faye gave her the card, she got a king.  
  
"Yeah, I won! I rule above all!"  
  
"Oh, look how happy the king and queen look. They even have a kid. It's so cute." Koneko was playing around with Lise's cards.  
  
"I think you're missing the point." Lise looked a little annoyed and embarrassed by Koneko's strange obsession with the cards. She looked over at the door just as Vash and Gorky walked in. She quickly grabbed her winnings, grabbed Koneko away from the cards, and ran into the girls' bathroom.  
  
"Why are we in here?" asked Koneko in her cute sweet innocent little voice.  
  
"Shhhh, be quiet, they might here you." Said Lise in her cruel brutal evil insensitivity…  
  
Will you stop that? {Hits Koneko slightly on the head, not very hard.} What did I do? I don't sound like that. Ok, fine  
  
She said it in her nice concerned voice. There, that's better  
  
Vash and Gorky walked in and looked around in awe.  
  
"It's so sparkly in here," said Gorky in a dazed voice. They looked around for a while until Vash spotted Faye. He got an evil grin. I just wanted to notify you that everything from this point on has no reasoning behind it what so ever. BEWARE!  
  
"Gorky, I just got an Idea. I don't get them often, so listen up. You see the girl over there. The one at the black jack table." Gorky looked over at her and nodded his head. "Good, because I have a really funny joke we can play on her. Come with me." They started to walk up to her. Once all of the people had left the table, Vash and Gorky went up to her, grabbed her, and ran into the boys' bathroom before any one noticed. She struggled to get free, but to no avail.  
  
"What's going on, let me go!" she yelled. NOTE: describing the events that took place after this would take to long, so here's the scoop. Vash is now dressed like Faye. Why? We will never know. Faye is now sitting in one of the stalls in the boys' bathroom. What a great place for her to be. She is now wearing Vash's very long red trench coat. She is tied up, so she can't leave. Koneko and Lise are walking aimlessly around the casino. Well, that's it in a nutshell.  
  
"Gee Vash, you look so pretty."  
  
"Gee, ya think?" Vash blushed cutely. He did strike a resemblance. His hair was now black, like Faye's, looked like hers too. It was a wig. Duh. I hope you can imagine this, because I sure as heck can't. It's just too scary for me. Koneko and Lise didn't notice them yet, but were on the watch for Vash and Gorky. Vash walked past them without noticing they were there. Koneko and Lise decided that they would dress up like the people who worked there. They ran over to a closet and took out some uniforms. They quickly walked over to an area that wasn't occupied.  
  
"Mahjong is a game for happy people who are happy while playing it and think about happy things that make them happy," Lise said. It just so happens that Vash and Gorky are happy people and like to play games, so they walked over to them. Koneko cringed.  
  
"We want to play, we want to play!" they chanted together.  
  
"Oh…I'm sorry, this section is closed now, bye." Lise and Koneko quickly ran away. Once again, Vash and Gorky just stood there, staring off into one direction. In my opinion, they are all idiots {Lise waks Koneko on the head lightly} What was that for I am not an idiot, other than Lise and Koneko. Vash finally got an idea. He pulled a deck of cards out of the shorts.  
  
"Hey Gorky, look, 52 card pick up!" He threw the cards up in the air.  
  
"Yeah! 52 card pick up!" He ran around in circles, jumping like an idiot, while trying to grab the cards as they fell. Miraculously, he caught all the cards while they were in the air.  
  
"Wahoo, 52 card pickup!" Gorky's idiocy was then revealed. He threw all the cards he had caught into the air. And or course, they scattered. Gorky stared down at the cards that were on the ground. Then he started running around in circles yelling, "52 card pick up!" over and over again. I think he's weird, but that's only an opinion……nah, it's a fact. All of a sudden, many funny looking people started swarming around Vash. They looked angry.  
  
"Hey you! You cheated us! We want our money back."  
  
"Yeah!" said the angry mob. Being the idiot he is, Vash had no clue what was going on. All of a sudden the entire mob reached into their pockets and pulled out……pulled out……………SPORQS!!!!! The minute Vash saw the sporqs he screamed out in terror. He quickly ran towards the door as Lise and Koneko watched. At the very end of the mob was a black cat with big eyes. It was sort of farther behind the mob, but it held a sporq in its mouth. It walked out the door, following the angry mob.  
  
"Gee, that was weird," said Lise.  
  
"Yeah. Who could have guessed that so many people could fit sporqs in their pockets."  
  
"Riigghhtt. Well, maybe we should follow him."  
  
"Yeah. I think the kitty was cute too," said Koneko as they ran out the door after Vash and the mob. It didn't take them long to catch up to Vash, because he was against a wall, surrounded by the mob. Lise and Koneko had just arrived. Lise ran over to Vash, while Koneko was doing…something.  
  
"Surrender evil people, or face the attack of the Swahili!" Koneko started walking around the people in motions so weird that they are indescribable. Just imagine her walking around, waving her hands about, and chanting "Swa- hi-li," over and over again. Needless to say, the mob was officially freaked out. None more than Lise.  
  
"Well anyway, just ignore her and listen to me. This is not Faye, in fact, how can you even think this is Faye?" She pulls the wig off. (Ahh, the moment of truth). "Does this look like Faye to you?" There were many gasps in the mob. Koneko was still doing the attack of the Swahili. "Now I advise you to all leave now, before she does some other attack." With those words, the crowd vanished.  
  
********************************************************  
  
Gorky was now with them, and Vash was now dressed back in his normal outfit.  
  
"Vash? I wanted to know why you dressed like Faye?" asked Koneko.  
  
"Well, some strange guy with a katana gave me some pills and said they were good so I tried to take them, but they went up my nose."  
  
"Ohhhh, that explains it," said Koneko.  
  
"Gorky, what did I tell you about casinos?" asked Lise.  
  
"That they are evil."  
  
"That's right."  
  
"But I saw you guys there."  
  
"You're just delusional," said Koneko.  
  
"Oh, ok."  
  
"Hey, whatever happened to Faye?" (Skips back to casino)  
  
The mob arrived back at the casino. The men decided to go to the bathroom.  
  
"What a strange guy that was."  
  
"Yeah, but that girl was even weirder."  
  
"Yeah," they all said together. Just then, they heard a knocking on one of the stalls. They approached the stall and opened the door. What they saw was none other than Faye. She looked up at them (just to tell you, she's is now fully dressed, the way she should be). She looked up at them.  
  
"Uh…hi?" she said. Just then, the black kitty fell on her head. It was still holding the sporq in its mouth. Words aren't needed to tell what happened next, but let's just say that Faye got beaten up very badly.  
  
Vash, Gorky, and the two super cool girls walked off into the sunset. (How pretty^-^)  
  
********************************************************  
  
Next time on Jelly Beans!  
  
"Howdy doody!"  
  
"The world is filled with happy pappy people who like sandwiches." 


End file.
